Dating advice from...Ke$ha?

Hello my lovely followers,

I'm so sorry that it's been at least a month or two since I've last written. I've just been so stinkin' busy I don't know what to do with myself. However, tonight I had some experiences that couldn't go without writing about. So please read on for my version of...Friday Night Live. =)

Addie told me she was going to have a friend stay the night tonight. I liked this particular friend (really I like all of Addie's friends--hilarious), so I was totally cool with it. However, I didn't realize that this Friday night entertainment would be some of the best comedy to ever hit Protection.

Addie's friend, Sorel, is quite the little character. She always has me crackin' up, and she's just downright nice. After have a little heart-to-heart with her about my first year in college, of which she was very curious about, and her soon-to-be middle school aged sister, I decided to go upstairs for the night and leave the two little ones to have some fun.

Not long after I had situated myself on my lovely bed, laptop in hand, I hear the steady increase of giggling and quick steps up our creaky wooden stairs followed. Addie busts through the door and sprints into the room with Sorel on her heals, and on their faces were the most ornery smiles if I had ever seen them. Addie jump on the other bed, and starts blurting out some story about Sorel and her self proclaimed buck teeth and poofy hair (Sorel actually said poofy three times in one sentence--impressive). After watching those girls look at each other and begin to laugh harder with every word, I joined in the excessive laughter. I mean, how could you not, really? Well, here came more info. Addie decided to tell me who Sorel "has a crush on." Ohhhh boy. I was curious as to where this conversation was going because it was quickly taking a turn down a very long and winding road. Of course, Sorel likes one of the cutest, most athletic boys in her class (duh). And here's where it's funny...apparently, they were dating for  a month at one point in time, but Sorel didn't know. Let me tell you, Dis. Tress.

Then, the conversation turned to a different subject of choice--my little sister. Up until this point in time, I swore my little sister saw no difference between girl and boy. But boy (ha), was I wrong. Apparently, she's crushin' on a cute little fella, and he's, of course, crushin' on her. I was informed they even danced together at the dance...helllloooo love. The only sad part of this little story, is I had to practically tear my little sister's limbs off to figure out who it was. Luckily, her dear friend was very willing to fill me in of the information that I had no idea was going on.

I decided to make the conversation a little more serious, so I simply said, "Addie, it's okay that you like boys. Actually, I'm glad you do. It's totally normal. Just don't be dumb, and please, please, PLEASE make sure they treat you right. Otherwise, get them out!" After a few phrases from Sorel about 'kicking them to the curb,' Addie responds with, "Yeahhh, I know. Kind of like that one girl--the singer. She says, 'kick em to the curb unless they look like Mick Jagger.'"

And that's where I got a little worried. Apparently, my ten-year-old little sister is now taking dating advice from the one and only--Ke$ha. Uhh oh. Needless to say, I about blew a hole in the wall with laughter directly followed with concern, but I quickly finished my discussion on little-school love. I pretty much said that it would be better for her to take dating advice from my abnormally fiesty, wannabe cheetah cat before taking it from our one and only Ke$h.

Luckily, our night of girl talk eased in to less dramatic conversational topics like their bowl of cheese (that my dog so sneakily enjoyed instead of partaking in our lovely talking) that was to be used for 'enchiladas,' also known as quesadillas, and how it's time to quit calling your toes 'piggies,' but instead 'toes' or if they really want to impress people 'phalanges.' To which Sorel responded, "That sounds like enchiladas to me. Why in the world would you EVER call your toes.." wait for it, this is one of the best moments of the night.. "Fill-in-chee-an-nees." Yeah, close, buuut no.

To sum up this entire post, I'm going to warn you. If you decide to stay up with a couple of crazy 9/10-year-olds, be prepared to laugh, cry, etc. They will make you fall in love with that childhood innocence that is so brilliant...so perfect..so stinkin' hilarious. If you are to ever get this chance, I suggest you take it. It may be one of the best spontaneous decisions that has ever been forced upon me. High-five to silliness!

Enjoy the ignorance of others,
the Lone Woolf