About Me

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I love life. I love God. I love laughter. Yet I am far more complex than this.

Sunday, April 10, 2011

My passion colored pen

Long time no write,

For this above statement, I am truly sorry. HOwever, I haven't been coming up with much to write about lately. Perhaps it's the business of what my life has been possessing? Perhaps it's all of the emotional highs and lows I've been experiencing? The reason, I really have no idea. I just don't have much to say, yet I find myself wanting to tell you so much. So here I go...

The last two weeks of my life have been a whirlwind. I have lost; I have gained; I have both laughed and ached with pain. I have opened up and built new walls. It's as if life is a never ending process of two steps forward one step back. But at least I'm getting somewhere, right? And what a wonderful jaunt it has been.

I'm nearing the end of my first year of college. Weird, right? I'm becoming such a grown lady. Ha, nahhh. Within the last year, I have learned so much about so much. About life, people, and. . . me. Here, allow me to elaborate five of my self revelations learned this year. 

1. I make horrible first impressions. Why? Because I am one of the most awkward people ever. I am loud, and when I get nervous (which happens fairly often), I sometimes get even louder than my natural state. I'm sure you're thinking that's quite impossible, but let me tell you my friends, it's not. And if I don't obnoxiously force myself into your life, I don't talk at all. I just sit there, smiling, as if I have nothing in my cranial cavity. Extremes? Very much so. Extremely strange.

2. I apparently look or sounds like the following: Jenna Fischer, Zooey Deschanel, and...wait for it...Exercise Barbie? I have yet to decide if the latter is an insult of a compliment. My dearest friend, Sar, once told me, "If Jenna Fischer and Barbie had a baby, that'd be you." Really? Hmm. These comparisons all seem to leave me in a haze, but within the last seven months I have gotten more references than ever before in my life. Strange, I know. 

3. Here's the next one, and this one has become blatantly obvious than ever before. I am a horrible, terrible liar. In an attempt to side-swipe a situation today, not even lie--just not tell the whole truth, this self realization became apparent. What happened? My face filled in the rest of the story. My face gets this panic-striken look much like that of a five-year-old caught stealing candy--eyes widen, mouth drops, and stuttering starts. I'm so terrible at doing this, that upon once attempting to play the two truths and a lie game, I accidentally told three truths. I have always known this hasn't been my strongest quality, maybe that's a good thing? Maybe it's a little embarrassing? Oh well. 

4. I'm a wicked dancer--especially in the Sonic parking lot. hahahaha...yeah, this really happened. Let me put it all out there for you, so you may fully comprehend. ONe night, after Christian Challenge, Sarah and I took a little jaunt to Sonic. Upon hearing some music, Sar broke into random dance, and I obviously followed. Then we hear someone yelling from across the way, "Hey, girl, whatchou dancin' to?" Sarah explained that she was just dancing to some music she had heard, and we then learned that it was the yelling woman and her friends that had been bumpin'. After this discovery was made, I did what any sheltered, white-girl in the ghettos would do...I signaled for her to turn it up. She did, and the next 10 minutes was filled with somewhat of a dance-off between their car and ours. The battle was close until I started framing my face while Sar did the robot. After that, they were toast. Yeah...that was one of my cooler moments.

5. Ahh numero cinco. Here we go. I'm a "follow my heart", "gotta have a feeling" kind of girl. Yeah, lammmme, I know. But it's true, and I've realized this more in the last seven months due to the excessive amounts of changes in my what was once so comfortable life. Sometimes, I do things on a 'whim'. And yeah, it's fun for a while. Footloose and fancy free, right? Well, what happens, you see, is I turn into leadfoot and fancy nausea. Not. Worth. It. But this also goes the other way. When I'm excited about something, it's apparent. When I'm passionate, it's an overwhelming passion, and I love this feeling. I often can't sleep when excitement is overtaking me because, well, I'm that ridiculous sometimes. 

One of my favorite writers due to her bluntness much like my own, Beth Moore, gave me a nice little quote that sums up, well, my last paragraph--especially in regards to my writing. "Passion isn't always the best ink. It tends to get splattered and spit instead of scripted thoughtfully and melodiously like notes on a composer's score. . . Things are better said in retrospect, but had I waited, a written message would never have materialized." This quote made my life. Sometimes I don't tell good stories in person, and sometimes my emotions are so thrown up all over this blog that I pity those of you who have to 'clean them up'. By clean them up, I mean read them. Ha. You get the picture? However, like Beth said, it's better said without melody than not at all. And I don't do well about not saying things. I like to talk.

Okay, so this may be one of the most randomly thrown together blogs of all times, but I felt it was time for an update. Now I must make haste, for bed time has come. 

Goodnight my lovelies,
the Lone Woolf


1 comment:

  1. I'm awkward too. It's okay. Well, I tell myself it's okay, and then it's okay. Maybe it's not.

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